Thursday, January 19, 2006
何故こう成ったんだ？
1/19/2006 04:56:00 AM [ 113767626936689102 ]
Sometimes I wish my parents thought of my feeligns at the time they were divorcing. I don't like to admit to taking any damage, but I can't honestly say I was unharmed by the split.
Problem is because of the divorce and possibly other reasons and maybe because my parents were not-quite-the-best of parents, I don't confide in them as much as I should. There really is nobody in my life who I confide in and discuss my troubles with regularly. This leaves me with no choice but to supress it all. As depressing as this may seem, I do have lots of friends who come to me for advice and I'm very happy to help; but sometimes I want someone to talk to the way my friends talk to me. Like yesterday at work, I just couldn't stand all the pressure anymore; I needed a break. Even though I actually only got about 2 hours away from work, it was still enough to help me relax a bit. If only a certain somebody really really listened to what I was saying I would have gotten my rest without being disturbed twice. Seriously man, I told you I was heading home to rest and yet you still called so early. And twice too! Once at 8:30 and once at 10:30. Thanks to you I got two 2-hour naps and have been up since 10:30PM and now that it's 5 in the fucking morning I have no choice but to stay up the rest of the morning.
Anyhow, I admit I'm lucky and very blessed to have parents who care but sometimes they just don't understand what it is that I want. Having raised me the way they thought would be the best, they ignored my feelings that started to develop back in middle school. I have my opinions too! There are lots of things I want to do and lots of things I want to change.
誰か助けてください。今苦しんでいます。
